Mausambi: ‘ I was researching for an article on India’s foreign policy by looking at Priyanka Gandhi’s photographs juxtaposed with those of Indira Gandhi.’

Pallavi Ghosh – “WTF! What’s need of researching here. We all know how Nehruvian foreign policy has built India’s statute as a peaceful country. And Indira built on that peace by releasing 93,000 PoWs without asking anything in return. Hence, as a courtesy, till 1999, when saffron government was in power, Pakistan attacked India. I don’t need to see any pics of Priyanka mam & Indira ji while juxtaposing them. Both are alive and kicking in my heart’

Mausambi: ‘It was a call from Priyanka Gandhi’s office. They asked me if I could join Priyanka for her flight from Delhi to Lucknow.’

Pallavi Ghosh-” I have all the itinerary of Priyanka mam by-heart and even without any invitation, I can gatecrash anytime, anywhere.”

Mausambi: I couldn’t believe my ears. This was the biggest scoop of the election season and I was handpicked for it! Ghosh!

Pallavi Ghosh-“LOL! This tasks is bread & butter to me. I am being employed by Congress…err… my channel, for that only. So, no question of anyone handpicking me.”

Mausambi: ‘Priyanka’s office informed me that I shouldn’t bother as they will send the tickets. I was almost in tears.’

Pallavi Ghosh-” ROFL! It’s Priyanka mam who gets tears after reading my coverage on her…not me”

Mausambi: ‘Priyanka Gandhi Vadra was taking an IndiGo flight. She will be walking and talking among the aam aadmi. I felt a lump in my throat.’

Pallavi Ghosh-“I need not get a lump in the throat when Priyanka mam walk, talk, piss, etc….even thoughts are enough for it. So again incorrect news.”

Mausambi: ‘I immediately proceeded to complete web check-in and booked myself a middle seat at 7B. I’m not only independent, I’m neutral, so I always book middle seats, neither window nor aisle, neither left nor right.’

Pallavi Ghosh-“HAHAHAHAHA. I do not need to web-checkin or book any of seat when Priyanka mam is in the flight. I can simply go and sit even on her lap whenever I feel so.”

Mausambi: ‘Priyanka made sure that common men didn’t face any problems due to her boarding. She walked tall with her handbag that she kept in overhead cabin by herself’

Pallavi Ghosh-” Why would Priyanka mam herself need to carry her bag when I was there. Mam has already been carrying the burden of expectations from 1.41 Billion population (1.35 Billion of India & 6 Billion of Italy). That’s enough.”

Mausambi: ‘Boarding was completed. Priyanka was sitting alone in an emergency row window seat. She was ready to take the risk alone and help common man in case evacuation is needed.’

Pallavi Ghosh-” Again incorrect news. I was sitting at that seat and taking the risk. Priyanka mam’s life is invaluable and it will be a matter of pride if I die and serving Priyanka mam”

Mausambi: ‘I asked her some tough questions if she had pre-booked her in-flight meals and if there were some offline YouTube videos in her mobile that she could watch while in air. She calmly answered all the questions. A real leader is one who is not afraid of tough questions.’

Pallavi Ghosh-” Damn! I myself had done pre-bookings of her in-flight meals and why other means of entertainment like YouTube videos are needed when I was available there. Moreover, a questionnaire was already given to me so it wasn’t much headache while taking interview”

Mausambi: ‘Whenever the captain ended any announcement with Jai Hind, Priyanka would smile. Subtle display of patriotism. No chest thumping.’

Pallavi Ghosh-“No such annoucement was made because the Priyanka mam herself had instructed prior to the journey to avoid it as Jai Hind is a communal slogan. I was about to shout ‘Allah Hu Akbar’ myself as a symbol of secularism; however, someone told me that pilot might get panicked after listening it. This would have risked the mam’s life. So, kept patience”.

Mausambi:’I can’t forget those scary 19 seconds when the turbulence did take place A 3-year-old boy was crying loudly out of fear, an old Muslim lady had started reading duas.’

Pallavi Ghosh: ” Duas of a Muslim lady have been heard by the Allah and plane got saved. Had I shouted Allah Hu Akbar beforehand, the turbulence of plane would have been avoided in the first place.”

Mausambi: ‘Everyone was amazed. Perhaps those 19 seconds were a divine signal by the god, showing us who stands out from the rest in 2019’

Pallavi Ghosh-‘ If Politics is religion, Priyanka mam is God. *winks*’

Mausambi: ‘It is amazing how much we owe to this family. Jawaharlal Nehru gave us scientific temper, due to which we fly in aeroplanes today, Rajiv Gandhi brought computers allowing us to web check-in from home, while Indira Gandhi asked us to be fearless like Joan of Arc so that turbulences don’t bother us.’

Pallavi Ghosh-“Why not mention Rahul Gandhi’s invention of Theory of Jupiter’s escape velocity, which is the main principle behind take offs of modern aircrafts’

Mausambi Singh: ‘Priyanka Gandhi in an Indigo flight symbolized the best of the three generations. It is now up to us to choose the best.’

Pallavi Ghosh– “Touchwood!”

~ written by Pallavi Ghosh, Sr Editor, News18

The post Sr Editor Pallavi Ghosh’s report on her aeroplane trip with Priyanka Gandhi appeared first on HMP.News.

TV manufacturers have also been asked to maintain NDTV and ABP News channels on least priority and should be set at the last, even after Aastha and Sanskar channels.

Initially, all these setting will be only a default setting but later will be made mandatory for initial 30 minutes of switching ON the TV. Only after 30 mins, one will be able to switch the channel. Whereas 20 minutes will be kept as the threshold for NDTV after which TVs will automatically get switched off.

The Information and Broadcast ministry is also launching an awareness campaign around patriotism in order to achieve better ranks among all the other countries in various fields.

In a meeting called by I&B Minister Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore, TV manufacturers have been advised to set direct buttons on TV for RepublicTV and Zee News which will direct viewers to the respective channels. The government also plans to send an advisory to establishments and manufacturers in this regard.

“Every one minute of watching Republic or Zee News will increase India’s performance in Olympics”, Rathore said.

The post I&B ministry wants to set Republic TV as default setting of all the TVs. appeared first on HMP.News.

Rahul Gandhi speech has a lot of theatrics and most of which was simply a poor translation of Munnabhai scenes. HMP lists out five scenes that Rahul Gandhi blatantly copied from Munnabhai series.

1. Soon after completing his speech, Rahul Gandhi walked all the way to PM Modi’s seat and hugged him. Few seconds after this infamous hug, the congress ecosystem started orgasming with “Rahul ki Jhappi” chant.

2. In order to hug PM Modi, Rahul Gandhi not only showed arrogance but also proved that he’s not well mannered. He asked PM Modi to get up from his seat so that he can hug him. This reminds us of Munnabhai scene where Munnabhai asks security guard (Chowkidar) to get up so that he can apologize to him. “Uth mamu apun ko tujhse sorry bolne ka hai“.

3. Rahul Gandhi, being a dynast had only arrogance in his speech. Rahul Gandhi said that PM Modi can’t make eye contact with him, after which Rahul Gandhi was royally trolled and one of the social media users tweeted “Mr. Rahul Gandhi you want to give speech or do “Nain Matakka” (flirt) with PM Modi. This whole scene reminds us of Munnabhai song “Dekh le.. aankhon me aaknhkhein daal dekh le..“.

4. After ending his speech and assuming it’s a big hit, Rahul Gandhi did a blunder that made his efforts go down the drain. After his theatrics of hugging PM Modi, Rahul Gandhi returned to his seat and winked at Jyotiraditya Scindia. This reminds us of scene of Munnabhai where Munnai bhai was playing Tic-Tac-Toe game with anand bhai and said “malum hai.. sabke saamne aankh jhapakne ko bolo to palti maarta hai“.

5. Though the entire speech of Rahul Gandhi was based on false and baseless allegations but one thing that was guaranteed was endless humor. Like students were laughing when Munnabhai asked “koi bahar casualty me marne ki haalat me hai to kya form bharna jaruri hai kya?“, MPs were seen laughing when Rahul Gandhi called himself Pappu.

The post Rahul Gandhi’s Drama, Blatant Copy Of Munnabhai. Five Instances That Prove it. appeared first on HMP.News.

The country witnessed speeches of many prominent leaders and Rahul Gandhi. Rahul Gandhi targeted the govt without any facts and badly impacted the dignity of the house. Rahul Gandhi, famous for his antics, did worse this time and walked all the way to PM and asked him to stand up because he wanted to hug. Soon after this drama, Rahul Gandhi winked and exposed himself.

The entire media house tried hard to project Rahul Gandhi as a new leader but failed miserably since public (Janta) too was watching all this drama.

Divyaspandana continuously tried to save Rahul Gandhi and went to the extent of calling Lok Sabha cameras biased. Everytime Lok Sabha cameras focused Rahul Gandhi, he was seen doing stupidity or had funny facial expressions.

While Rahul Gandhi’s speeches were all about baseless and false allegations, BJP leaders have some hard facts and proved Pappu is still a Pappu.

Note: Keep doing good because you’ll be noticed and stop doing bad because you’ll be noticed.

The post Divyaspandana Says Voting Machine Hacked During No Confidence Motion: Satire. appeared first on HMP.News.

If sources are to be believed, Congress MP Shashi Tharoor is likely to approach Raju Hirani to convince him for a movie on his life. Shashi Tharoor is currently on bail in Sunanda Pushkar murder case. Shashi Tharoor’s alleged offences are committing cruelty and abetment of suicide of Sunanda Pushkar.

Shashi Tharoor’s biopic would be called farrago, as he uses this world very frequently. Arnab Goswami is likely to play villain in the movie. Raju Hirani has already started receiving proposals of actresses to play Sunanda’s role. Movie is likely to be launched in Early December so as to avoid collision with Amir Khan’s Christmas launch.

Shashi Tharoor has good connections with Bollywood and has also done a cameo in the movie Andaz Apna Apna.

Shashi Tharoor desperately needs rebranding since many people on social media strongly believe that Shashi Tharoor indeed forced Sunanda to commit suicide and a few even believe that it’s not a suicide but a murder. If Raju Hirani agrees to make Shashi Tharoor’s biopic then congress will have better chances in upcoming general elections say some experts.

The post After Sanjay Dutt, Shashi Tharoor likely to approach Raju Hirani for his makeover. appeared first on HMP.News.

Sources say that Sushma Swaraj, who is trying to avoid this controversy has already started preparation for bigger battles lying ahead. Sources close to Amit Shah has told us that, last nail on Congress’ coffin is going to put by hands of Sushma only by challenging the most powerful leader of INC Sonia Gandhi in her home constituency Raelbareli in LS 2019. Raebareli has been a fortress of Congress with Indira Gandhi herself used to Contest from this seat. Even in LS 2014 of Modi wave where BJP won most of the seats by the margin of 2-3 lakh votes, Raebareli Constituency was proved a tough nut to crack with BJP candidate losing with a whopping margin of 3.5+ lakhs votes.

Many people are simply ignorant about a fact that Sushma Swaraj hates Congress & Sonia far more than Modi, and Sushma-Sonia rivalry is far more fierce than that of Amit Shah – Ahmed Patel :

1) In LS 1999 when Sonia decided to contest elections for the first time in Bellary, Sushma took it as a challenge & filed her nomination against Sonia, the fight which was then seen as “foreign bahu” Vs “Indian beti”. Though Sushma lost the closely & bitterly contested ‘Battle of Bellary’, she can never let slip the below the belt campaigning from Congress camp from her memory.

2) Just after when LS 2004 results, Swaraj had threatened to shave her head and wear white—a Hindu sign of mourning – as a protest on the issue of a ‘foreigner’ Sonia was becoming the PM.

But, the tables were turned & Sonia again checkmated her by refusing to accept the post of PM. Sonia successfully portrayed herself as a ‘bahu who’s making the ultimate Indian woman’s sacrifice’. The entire game changed & from that point, BJP could not keep harping on Sonia’s foreign origins. It silenced all of Sonia’s critics and ended the “foreign bahu” Vs “Indian beti” debate for once and all.

3) Sonia went on to become the most powerful politician of India for next 10 years & Sushma had to endure the ignominy of playing the humiliating role of Opposition leader at a prime time of her political career. But she got an opportunity to settle old scores with Sonia in 2015 when at Lok Sabha she taunted Rahul Gandhi ‘Ask your Mumma’ —and later on, Sonia had called Swaraj “maahir” (expert) in theatrics.

4) Congress led by Sonia had been continuously making below the belt allegations on Sushma right from connecting her with corrupt Reddy brothers in Karnataka to Lalit Modi. Albeit till diagnosis of Sushma’s illness in November 2016 she was most attacked leader of BJP by Sonia led liberals. LS 2019 Elections will be like the 20th anniversary of ‘Battle of Bellary’ & Sushma is the keenest person to avenge multiple humiliating defeats in hands of her nemesis and have the last laugh.

5) Now coming back to this Passport issue. Sushma has actually killed two birds in one stone in this matter:

a) One, Raebarely has a significant amount of Muslim population. Unlike other seats in UP, BJP can’t win this without getting a significant amount of ‘secular votes’. By taking the side of to ‘Muslim couple’ in this passport issue she has definitely made a dent in secular vote bank of Sonia which always voted to Congress in bulk. Whereas, BJP supporters who are not happy with Sushma, would anyway vote her to make Modi PM again.

b) Two, liberal media has been always hostile to BJP leaders who directly contest elections with Gandhi/Nehru dynasty. We have seen how another dynasty challenger Smriti Irani has been mercilessly attacked & even trolled by liberal media in the worst possible way. Now by siding with ‘Muslim couple’ & attacking own RW supporters, Sushma has able to get rare praise for her from Liberal side. Now, these liberals will get exposed if they make U-turn & again start maligning Sushma when she will officially declare her nomination for Raebareli against Sonia in 2019.

6) Passport official Vikas Mishra is a collateral damage in this whole issue
We have to note that Vikas has been transferred to Gorakhpur which is the hometown of CM Yogi Aadityanath. Yogi Adityanath would help him settle in new city smoothly & won’t let him face any difficulties. Vikas Mishra will get transferred back to his choice of place once the larger goal is achieved.

7) Sadia Anas aka Tanvi Seth is actually BJP mole in this whole issue and she has actually Honey trapped her husband Mohd Anas Siddiqui. It was found that Tanvi had RTed tweets of RW celebs including of Rahul Roushan

One more fact is that Tanvi Seth hasn’t yet registered the marriage with her Muslim husband. Once ‘larger goal’ achieved, she will simply dump her husband Mohd Anas Siddiqui. Now that Tanvi Seth has got exposed with Saffron agenda, we hope that no Muslim Imam will issue a fatwa against her.

8)

Anchor Ruchi Kumar who works for INDIA TV was the 1st one to highlight this issue. Rajat Sharma led INDIA-TV is a close to BJP quarters and no Sherlock Holmes needed to conclude that BJP itself had planted the news. They knowingly chose Ruchi Kumar for this task, so that her ‘secular’ husband Kamal Khan can proactively take this matter to NDTV as an opportunity to provoke communal tensions. So, India TV anchor Ruchi Kumar herself is another BJP Mole who has successfully Honeytrapped NDTV’s Kamal Khan. On result day of LS 2019, you will find Vikas Mishra, Tanvi Seth, Ruchi Kumar together celebrating Sushma’s victory, while Mohd Anas Siddiqui, Kamal Khan, liberal media will have egg on their face.

In summary, keyboard warriors’ of Right Wing on Twitter are definitely underestimating current BJP leadership which has overturned fortunes of the party in just 4 years. Some hardcore RWs & intellectual couldn’t notice a simple fact that why a seasoned politician like Sushma Swaraj who has faced worst of abuse & sexist taunts from Congress ecosystem (just like Smriti Irani facing today ) would suddenly get bothered by some low Account trolls?

For liberals & Congress Dynasty, Sushma was Smriti Irani of 1990s. Do you think Smriti Irani will ever side with liberal media & attack her own supporters in future, without any much bigger plan?!

Note: HMP news leaked this secret plan of Sushma BJP because,
a) most of the coveted short-term objectives have been already achieved.
b) If Sonia Gandhi gets a sniff of this plan before all of us, she might declare that she is not contesting LS 2019 from Raebareli. But with this article getting published, now her this act will be seen as cowardice to avoid certain defeat from Sushma!

The post Sushma Swaraj set to contest LS 2019 against Sonia Gandhi in Raebareli, Passport issue is scripted drama? appeared first on HMP.News.

1. Always carry a bag pack or jute bag with yourself and refuse any kind of single use carry bags at shops.

2. Always carry water bottle, preferably metal bottles, you will be amazed to know every minute millions of water bottles around the world ends into our oceans.

This environment day, 5th of June 2018, let’s pledge to at least adopt and promote these 2 habits to make our planet a better place for generations to come.

Note: #BeatPlasticPollution

The post BEAT PLASTIC POLLUTION appeared first on HMP.News.

To quench the thirst of power, Congress has taken a strong step. No, it is not positive steps like doing away with dynast politics, but roping in PM Modi as its star campaigner. HMP sources say that Sonia Gandhi has requested PM Modi to join congress as its star campaigner. Sonia Gandhi in her request letter has written that PM Modi becoming a star campaigner of Congress would be a quid pro quo since, Congress President Rahul Gandhi himself is a star campaigner of BJP.

There’s no question about the fact that congress is desperate to be in power and that’s justified since once ruling more than 15 states has now been restricted to only one state. Recently, the country has witnessed many events that establish that congress is indeed desperate. Less educated People from economically backward class and generally unaware of politics were also seen calling congress a party that divides India.

Sir @narendramodi my cab driver wants you to resign/leave. Pls listen pic.twitter.com/9zARt6znMT

— Maithun Thala (@Being_Humor) April 16, 2018

Many unfortunate incidents in the past, such as Bihar riots, Godhra Train burning in 2002 were allegedly motivated or sponsored by Congress when it was in opposition. With paid Media it was able to suppress all this incidents. Even when in power, the Congress dynasty had tried to take adequate care to ‘take care’ of its rival from suspicious deaths of Shyama Prasad Mukherjee, J.P.Narayam, own leaders like Sanjay Gandhi, Rajesh Pilot, Madhavrao Scindia , to witch hunting of Modi/Shah in Isharat Jahan Encounter case to creating false ‘Hindu Terror bogey’ .

It has not been surprising that Congress has continued this tactics post-2014 also.

From Rising Intolerance to Award Wapasi to fake Chruch attack & Dalit atrocities narratives, Congress has left no stone unturned.

Even in recent Bhima Koregaon Violence as a planned and sponsored activity, Pune Police has now found Maoist links and have raided residence of the members of the Republican Panthers (RP).

Congress has also tried to give murder angle to Justice Loya’s death case, SC verdict dismissing pleas seeking an independent probe into the death of Justice Loya has exposed the conspiracy of Congress.

Con party’s strategy is built on few assumptions.
1. Public memory is short
2. Voters are gullible
3. When a person with Gandhi surname says crazy shit, some reasonable people will still believe it to be true
4. Hit jobs in media will eventually payoff
5. Muslim vote guaranteed

— Ram (@ramprasad_c) April 24, 2018

Only party to have declared an Emergency
Currently trying to silence the judiciary
Destroyed army morale by fixing officers like Col Purohit
Appointed people like Navin Chawla as CEC

This family is an expert on destroying India's institutions. In a way that makes him credible https://t.co/xgaEZamQ5e

— Pulakesin III.5 (@IndiaSpeaksPR) April 23, 2018

It would be interesting to see if Modi accepts the proposal considering ‘use and throw policy ‘ of Congress with latest example added to a long list of such people is Navjot Singh Siddhu.

Note: This is a work of fiction currently, but we don’t guarantee the same for the future.

The post Sonia Gandhi requests PM Modi to join congress. #Satire appeared first on HMP.News.

While Indians outside is performing really good, Indians in India are trying their best to make Indian look like a circus, except a few. What if Politicians are made to participate in common wealth games.? Well if they are from congress it will be called Common Games since they’ll take away all the wealth.

HMP brings to you the list of 7 politicians or Journalists turned politicians who can do really well in common wealth games.

PM Modi – Weight Lifting

There’s no question about PM’s hard-work and dedication. In current scenario it seems he’s the one who’s not only one hundered percent committed to make India excel in all fields.

If Modi participates in commonwealth games weight lifting then he has the potential to get us a medal considering he’s single handedly lifting the weight of the nation.

Yogi Adityanth – Shooting

UP CM is modern age Yogi who’s helping criminals meet god. UP Police under Yogi has taken down more than 1000 wanted criminals in 1st year of his rule itself. If Yogi participates in common wealth then expecting a medal in shooting from him is certainly not a high expectation.

Arvind Kejriwal – 100m dash

Expert in running away from responsibilities, CM Arvind Kejriwal is always ready with excuses. and in case he doesnt have any excuse he has PM Modi to blame. If Arvind Kejriwal ever particpates in 100 mtrs race then he could get us gold “Bade Aaram se!”

Rajdeep Sardesai- Boxing

Though India is already doing pretty well in this field but can do better if Rajdeep Sardesai participates. Journalist turned Politician turned boxer has good experience of punching people on their face. During Modi’s speech at madison square garden, Rajdeep Sardesai allegedly punched a few NRIs after they praised PM Modi.

Mamta Banerjee – Wrestling

Mamta is showing no mamta and her party workers are beating RSS and BJP people openly. Recently, an Opposition member, who had come to file nomination for panchayat polls, was beaten up. This shows how successfully, Mamta Didi knocked out the opposition even before the game starts. We expect no less than a gold from her.

Rahul Gandhi – Gymnastics

Good for almost nothing, Rahul Gandhi is popular for only two things

1. His antic postures

2. His twists and turns

Rahul Gandhi is adaptable, no not as a quality but depending upon election schedule. Just before Gujarat assembly election he became Janeudhari and later he admitted that he was visiting temples only to lure Hindu votes. Such qualities if used effectively then may result in gold. Though Rahul Gandhi is famous for turning even gold into a garbage by touching it (Congress, Cambridge Analytica etc) but we can expect atleast a bronze from a man who possess above two qualities.

Akhilesh Yadav- Cycling

In any cycling related event or sport, one thing is common that the players come back to the start point or if we say in Akhilesh Yadav words “Don’t reach anywhere”. With Cycle as his party symbol, Akhilesh Yadav has bicycled a lot during UP election campaign and Since he didn’t get anything we wish he gets a medal in commonwealth.

Note: It’s a work of fiction and we will not let these politicians malign any game ever.

The post What if Politicians participate in commonwealth games? appeared first on HMP.News.

HMP journalists dug Karnika Kohli’s Twitter timeline a little deeper and it was not a good sight for Congress supporters. In more than a hundred tweets, Karnika Kohli had slammed Rahul Gandhi, exposing his dumbness and incapability. Not only that, Karnika Kohli had also praised Narendra Modi and had said that he’s the only option India has.

In one tweet Karnika Kohli severely criticised Congress party and said that Congress party is worst in terms of national security.

In one similar tweet she trolled Rahul Gandhi for his speeches. Karnika tweeted that there’s a difference between Modi and Rahul Gandhi and that difference is that Modi doesn’t need script for his speeches.

She seems to be a serious troll who doesn’t like to spare Rahul Gandhi. In one meme she attacked both Rahul Gandhi and Sonia Gandhi for their Italian connection and called Rahul Gandhi Pappu.

In one similar tweet she called Rahul Gandhi idiot and to be held responsible for fu*king whole party.

She didn’t stop here and voiced her happiness when Rahul Gandhi was trailing in Amethi.

Karnika in one tweet made a disgusting remark on Rahul Gandhi and said “Rahul might pee in his pants”.

Karnika hasn’t spared even people who are around Rahul Gandhi, she expressed her sympathy for Rahul Gandhi’s bodyguards, who can’t escape Rahul’s speech.

Note: Karnika, a person is known by the people whom he/she admires, and we believe you don’t want to be known by Rahul…oops, Pappu.

The post The Wire journalist slams Rahul Gandhi, calls him Pappu appeared first on HMP.News.